MBA Anxiety...
I still remember the day I got THE call from the 734 area code. It was Wednesday, March 8, at around 11:40am Pacific Time. Since I sneakily went through the b-school process, I jumped up and ran into an unused conference room and all I kept whispering “Oh My God” over and over again. I was SO excited that I was a few months away from this incredible adventure.
Shortly after submitting my enrollment deposit, I suddenly got all nervous. I spent so much time and energy trying to get in that I kind of forgot about the pesky little cross-country move I’m about to make. So then I started debating the huge aspects of the move (getting car out there, furniture selling, quitting job, etc.), and have changed my mind several times. As of now, I'm shipping the car, selling the furniture, and quitting in the late July/early August timeframe. I had fantasies of quitting in early July, but my bank account laughed at me. More importantly, I will seriously burn a bridge by giving two weeks notice and quitting right before this meeting/conference I have to go to (in late July) that I've known about for months.
I’ve also started to have some strange anxiety dreams lately. Most are about losing my car and getting totally lost on an M-Trek, but those seemed like "normal" anxiety dreams. Last night, I dreamed that the head of the Office of Career Development and one staff member were in my current office having a meeting with me in the conference room I where I took my acceptance call. They were telling me that I had absolutely NO chance of making it into my desired profession (marketing), and that my resume wouldn’t even get a second look by a recruiter and there’s nothing I could do to improve my chances. Two senior-level managers in my office walked by and wondered what was going on, so the Ross Career people kicked me out of the room. The Ross people then talked with my company people about my lack of ability while pointing and laughing at my resume and me (I was standing outside of this room and heard them). I then started crying and ran out of the office. Considering I'm not a crier, that's huge! I then started doubting my choice to go to b-school, my choice in future profession, and my ability to do anything. Dream me even started wondering if I should just stick it out in my job.
Now, I realize that I’m just getting super stressed about the b-school experience, and I also realize that I am no longer growing in my current capacity, but this weirded me out. I think I am starting to feel guilty that I’m keeping this huge secret from my company. I just think that the closer it comes to August 23 (Orientation), and September 5 (first day of classes), the more “real” this seems.
Shortly after submitting my enrollment deposit, I suddenly got all nervous. I spent so much time and energy trying to get in that I kind of forgot about the pesky little cross-country move I’m about to make. So then I started debating the huge aspects of the move (getting car out there, furniture selling, quitting job, etc.), and have changed my mind several times. As of now, I'm shipping the car, selling the furniture, and quitting in the late July/early August timeframe. I had fantasies of quitting in early July, but my bank account laughed at me. More importantly, I will seriously burn a bridge by giving two weeks notice and quitting right before this meeting/conference I have to go to (in late July) that I've known about for months.
I’ve also started to have some strange anxiety dreams lately. Most are about losing my car and getting totally lost on an M-Trek, but those seemed like "normal" anxiety dreams. Last night, I dreamed that the head of the Office of Career Development and one staff member were in my current office having a meeting with me in the conference room I where I took my acceptance call. They were telling me that I had absolutely NO chance of making it into my desired profession (marketing), and that my resume wouldn’t even get a second look by a recruiter and there’s nothing I could do to improve my chances. Two senior-level managers in my office walked by and wondered what was going on, so the Ross Career people kicked me out of the room. The Ross people then talked with my company people about my lack of ability while pointing and laughing at my resume and me (I was standing outside of this room and heard them). I then started crying and ran out of the office. Considering I'm not a crier, that's huge! I then started doubting my choice to go to b-school, my choice in future profession, and my ability to do anything. Dream me even started wondering if I should just stick it out in my job.
Now, I realize that I’m just getting super stressed about the b-school experience, and I also realize that I am no longer growing in my current capacity, but this weirded me out. I think I am starting to feel guilty that I’m keeping this huge secret from my company. I just think that the closer it comes to August 23 (Orientation), and September 5 (first day of classes), the more “real” this seems.
posted by fromcali at 11:52 PM
3 Comments:
Hey, girl. So when do you plan on telling your work? It is scary finally laying it out to your manager and company: "It's real. I'm leaving." But after telling them, I felt so much more relieved having it out in the open. I also realized my colleagues were more supportive of my MBA plans than I thought they would be.
You'll do fine in school & career. You'll be a great marketer! Keep the faith. Ross will be an awesome place for you. Good luck! We're both packin' our cali bags and heading to the midwest!
Dont worry about telling the company- if you feel that your growth chances are limited, then this is the right step. Most managers will respect this decision and you will be fine.
how are you going to ship your car? i'm debating whether to drive or ship myself.
Post a Comment
<< Home